Surviving the meltdown

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The pre-schooler is losing it over some perceived wrong. I can’t remember who’s to blame and I’ve lost the will to figure it out.

If nothing else, it has helped generate the following:

My best and most wisest advice for surviving the pre-schooler meltdown:

  1. As your pre-schooler does his best imitation of a caged alley cat, it’s time to breathe . . . and enjoy a self-deriding chuckle as you remember a time when you thought you were in charge. Ah, memories.
  2. Take a time out. Not the pre-schooler. You. Why should the pre-schooler have all the peace and quiet?
  3. Bargain, bribe, barter. The books say otherwise, but how will they ever know? And what right do these faceless and distant experts have to judge you anyway?
  4. Sing. Anything will do. The more annoying the better. Something retro, maybe. Something you and the pre-schooler will not be able to get out of your heads for the rest of the day. Some early Kylie Minogue, anyone?
  5. Nod patiently and pat pre-schooler’s head. This will not work but a little, gentle mockery always makes you feel better.
  6. We’re half way through the list of my best and most wisest advice and the meltdown continues. It’s time to retreat. To the wine cabinet! Without delay.
  7. Uh-oh! The meltdown’s gone up a notch. Now is your chance to imitate pre-schooler in midst of meltdown. This may be the perfect circuit breaker. Or not.
  8. Oh, well. It was worth a try. Let’s zone out and spend a while plotting the ways in which you will embarrass above-mentioned pre-schooler during and throughout their teenage years.
  9. Speak calmly yet firmly to pre-schooler (while secretly patting self on back for ability to do so while simultaneously entertaining thoughts of the wine cabinet)
  10. We’ve fallen asleep sobbing (you/him/you and him). Let’s just start over. Deep breath everyone . . .

Footnote: There are no guarantees the above strategies will work or even help. In fact, they probably won’t. Best just muddle on through and enjoy the good bits when they pop up.

 

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